Bolstering the individual’s self-esteem may not be something you can tackle on your own, but it is something you can work on with outside help.I’ve been working with hundreds of virtual team members in over 9 different countries in the past 12 years.
Despite the belief that personality is immutable, psychotherapy research shows that people can change even long-standing behaviors.
BEST WAY TO MANAGE PEOPLE PROFESSIONAL
Because some narcissists truly have low self-esteem and profound feelings of inadequacy, it’s important to recognize when they can benefit from professional intervention. Recognize that the person may need help.
This would be particularly appropriate for the grandiose type of narcissist, who will probably find it entertaining and possibly instructive. Without being cruel about it, you can point to the inappropriateness of the person’s egocentric behavior with a smile or joke. Calling a narcissist’s bluff may mean that you ignore the person, but it might also mean that you meet that bluff with a laugh at least once in a while. If it's a grandiose type of narcissist, you may want to acknowledge his or her feelings but then move on anyhow. Find the balance between moving ahead in the direction you want to pursue and alleviating the vulnerable narcissist's anxieties and insecurities. You don’t need to attend to everything this person says or does, no matter how much he or she clamors for your attention. It’s easy to lose your own sense of purpose or goals when a narcissist tries to take center stage. Furthermore, by keeping the previous tips in mind, you may be able to help ease the situation so things actually improve. Don’t look ruffled, even if you’re feeling annoyed, and eventually that behavior will diminish in frequency. If you are dealing with narcissists who derive pleasure from watching others suffer, then seeing the pain they cause will only egg them on to more aggressive counter-behavior. If you know a person like this, it's important to remember that the situation helped create the monster with whom you must now interact. Her insecurity will only worsen with time, leading her to become defensively narcissistic, vindictive, and spiteful. Let’s say a woman was turned down for a promotion she wanted very much, and now must continue to work with the person who got the job. Some situations may elicit a person’s insecurities more than others. Narcissism is not an all-or-nothing personality trait. Too much reassurance and you'll fan their egocentric flames, but the right amount will allow them to calm down and get to the task at hand. Once you recognize that they are coming from a place of insecurity, you can provide them with just enough reassurance to get them to settle down and focus on what needs to be done. They may question your authority just to create mischief. Vulnerable narcissists need to make themselves feel better about themselves, which is why they can become sneaky and undercutting. Appreciate where the behavior comes from.If you’re trying to get something done, and one person is always interrupting or trying to shine the spotlight on himself or herself, recognizing where your frustration is coming from can help give you the strength you need to put a stop to it. As noted above, narcissists can be antagonistic and get under your skin. If you’re trying to put people in your family or on your work team to best use, the grandiose narcissist might be your best ally-as long as you can get that person on board with your overall group’s goals. In contrast to grandiose narcissists, they’re less “out there” with their emotions, and so you might not realize when they’re undercutting you or getting in your way.
Vulnerable narcissists don’t feel particularly good about themselves at heart.
BEST WAY TO MANAGE PEOPLE HOW TO
How to manage your emotions around a narcissist
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